I used to make New Year's resolutions... they last all of the time it would take me to compile the list. After that I would forget about them and at the end of the year, I'd wonder how come I couldn't tick anything off my list. Last year, I saw screw it... instead I made a "Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch" list. I only had two things I wanted to accomplish for the year: have a child (or be preggers), and to have a renovated kitchen. Neither of these things were accomplished; and though I have another 30 or so hours before the New Year's, chances are either of these happening are nil.
Here goes 2014's "Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch!" list:
1. Have a kid,or at least be pregnant by next New Year's Eve.
I can't put any reasoning behind this psychotic need to be a parent, no matter the cost. I can't guarantee my future, but no matter what I will be doing, I know that I want a child in my life. I can't imagine anything else being as fulfilling as being a mom. Some people think that this urge has overcome me because of the loss of my own mother this year, and maybe it did make me reanalyze the no-kid angle I've been on for years. Maybe I'm just getting old and I feel my biological clock ticking at 26. Maybe I'm envious of all of my friends, peers, who have children and seem so fulfilled. Maybe I'm unhappy and think that a child will brighten my life. I don't know what the reasons are... they could a little bit of anything. Nonetheless, this will be on top of my list once more.
2. Make this house into my home.
My mother bought all this furniture way back when I moved into this house; thank God that she did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have any furniture to this day. I have never been bothered in decorating/ interior designing; all I need is a microwave and a tv and the house is perfect. Lately my outlook has been changing and every once in a while I walk through my house and I absolutely hate it; it's a few cardboard boxes away from looking like I just moved in. So, making this house my home, is another thing that needs to happen. This includes my kitchen/ balcony/ bathroom renovations which I've been planning to a detail (thanks to Pinterest) for years now.
3. Have a better relationship with my father.
My mother's biggest fear was that my father and I would drift apart after she passed away. In a way, I feel that if she hadn't had that conversation with me that we just might have. I have an amazing father; but our relationship becomes so strained when we're actually in the vicinity of each other. We're just so much better oceans apart... this year, I will try to mend that. I will make more of an attempt to become closer to my father.
4. Accept my lifestyle.
I spend the better part of a month taking sleeping pills to sleep early, so that I can wake up early and have a fresh start to my day, which will thereby make me a better, more alert person, and in the long run have me accomplishing more. This year, fuck it... I wake up early and feel absolutely awful the rest of the day. I don't get in to work mode and I end up spending the watching entire seasons of The Vampire Diaries. Each person is different, and I AM NOT that person who has it together, that goes jogging at 5 am, and is in their work flow outfits by 7 all put together in high heels and immaculate make-up. I am the girl that sleeps in till 11, spends the day in her pajamas in front of her laptop working her ass off. I'm also the girls who spontaneously puts off all of her tasks because she needs a damn break, but will suddenly pull out her laptop at 3 am because she feels like working. I'm just going to accept who I am and stop trying to be like all these corporate bitches on TV.
5. Work on my book.
Freelance writing is so hectic... you get the worst schedules, the most impossible deadlines, and even more impossible clients. I've been working on a book for the past three years... I've got bits and pieces, but nothing properly put together. This year, no matter my work schedule, I need to dedicate time to my book. So it never gets published, maybe Zak will be the only person to ever read it (even that's doubtful), but still I will finish it at one point. This year, I will work on it more.
6. Increase my knowledge of Islam.
I've been trying to learn but I've barely scratched the surface. I'm going to include expanding my knowledge in this subject as shit that needs to get done in 2014.
That's it, people. Fuck resolutions... let's get shit done.
Here goes 2014's "Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch!" list:
1. Have a kid,or at least be pregnant by next New Year's Eve.
I can't put any reasoning behind this psychotic need to be a parent, no matter the cost. I can't guarantee my future, but no matter what I will be doing, I know that I want a child in my life. I can't imagine anything else being as fulfilling as being a mom. Some people think that this urge has overcome me because of the loss of my own mother this year, and maybe it did make me reanalyze the no-kid angle I've been on for years. Maybe I'm just getting old and I feel my biological clock ticking at 26. Maybe I'm envious of all of my friends, peers, who have children and seem so fulfilled. Maybe I'm unhappy and think that a child will brighten my life. I don't know what the reasons are... they could a little bit of anything. Nonetheless, this will be on top of my list once more.
2. Make this house into my home.
My mother bought all this furniture way back when I moved into this house; thank God that she did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have any furniture to this day. I have never been bothered in decorating/ interior designing; all I need is a microwave and a tv and the house is perfect. Lately my outlook has been changing and every once in a while I walk through my house and I absolutely hate it; it's a few cardboard boxes away from looking like I just moved in. So, making this house my home, is another thing that needs to happen. This includes my kitchen/ balcony/ bathroom renovations which I've been planning to a detail (thanks to Pinterest) for years now.
3. Have a better relationship with my father.
My mother's biggest fear was that my father and I would drift apart after she passed away. In a way, I feel that if she hadn't had that conversation with me that we just might have. I have an amazing father; but our relationship becomes so strained when we're actually in the vicinity of each other. We're just so much better oceans apart... this year, I will try to mend that. I will make more of an attempt to become closer to my father.
4. Accept my lifestyle.
I spend the better part of a month taking sleeping pills to sleep early, so that I can wake up early and have a fresh start to my day, which will thereby make me a better, more alert person, and in the long run have me accomplishing more. This year, fuck it... I wake up early and feel absolutely awful the rest of the day. I don't get in to work mode and I end up spending the watching entire seasons of The Vampire Diaries. Each person is different, and I AM NOT that person who has it together, that goes jogging at 5 am, and is in their work flow outfits by 7 all put together in high heels and immaculate make-up. I am the girl that sleeps in till 11, spends the day in her pajamas in front of her laptop working her ass off. I'm also the girls who spontaneously puts off all of her tasks because she needs a damn break, but will suddenly pull out her laptop at 3 am because she feels like working. I'm just going to accept who I am and stop trying to be like all these corporate bitches on TV.
5. Work on my book.
Freelance writing is so hectic... you get the worst schedules, the most impossible deadlines, and even more impossible clients. I've been working on a book for the past three years... I've got bits and pieces, but nothing properly put together. This year, no matter my work schedule, I need to dedicate time to my book. So it never gets published, maybe Zak will be the only person to ever read it (even that's doubtful), but still I will finish it at one point. This year, I will work on it more.
6. Increase my knowledge of Islam.
I've been trying to learn but I've barely scratched the surface. I'm going to include expanding my knowledge in this subject as shit that needs to get done in 2014.
That's it, people. Fuck resolutions... let's get shit done.
I've wanted to get more into writing. Even doing freelance and maybe make money on the side of my day job. You know how good I've got at that? NOT. I'm giving away all my gold on my free blog. All I do for everyone. If everyone in the world just gave me a dollar… ;)
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