"Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch!"

I used to make New Year's resolutions... they last all of the time it would take me to compile the list. After that I would forget about them and at the end of the year, I'd wonder how come I couldn't tick anything off my list. Last year, I saw screw it... instead I made a "Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch" list. I only had two things I wanted to accomplish for the year: have a child (or be preggers), and to have a renovated kitchen. Neither of these things were accomplished; and though I have another 30 or so hours before the New Year's, chances are either of these happening are nil.

Here goes 2014's "Shit that needs to happen this year, bitch!" list:

1. Have a kid,or at least be pregnant by next New Year's Eve.
I can't put any reasoning behind this psychotic need to be a parent, no matter the cost. I can't guarantee my future, but no matter what I will be doing, I know that I want a child in my life. I can't imagine anything else being as fulfilling as being a mom. Some people think that this urge has overcome me because of the loss of my own mother this year, and maybe it did make me reanalyze the no-kid angle I've been on for years. Maybe I'm just getting old and I feel my biological clock ticking at 26. Maybe I'm envious of all of my friends, peers, who have children and seem so fulfilled. Maybe I'm unhappy and think that a child will brighten my life. I don't know what the reasons are... they could a little bit of anything. Nonetheless, this will be on top of my list once more.

2. Make this house into my home.
My mother bought all this furniture way back when I moved into this house; thank God that she did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have any furniture to this day. I have never been bothered in decorating/ interior designing; all I need is a microwave and a tv and the house is perfect. Lately my outlook has been changing and  every once in a while I walk through my house and I absolutely hate it; it's a few cardboard boxes away from looking like I just moved in. So, making this house my home, is another thing that needs to happen. This includes my kitchen/ balcony/ bathroom renovations which I've been planning to a detail (thanks to Pinterest) for years now.

3. Have a better relationship with my father.
My mother's biggest fear was that my father and I would drift apart after she passed away. In a way, I feel that if she hadn't had that conversation with me that we just might have. I have an amazing father; but our relationship becomes so strained when we're actually in the vicinity of each other. We're just so much better oceans apart... this year, I will try to mend that. I will make more of an attempt to become closer to my father.

4. Accept my lifestyle.
I spend the better part of a month taking sleeping pills to sleep early, so that I can wake up early and have a fresh start to my day, which will thereby make me a better, more alert person, and in the long run have me accomplishing more. This year, fuck it... I wake up early and feel absolutely awful the rest of the day. I don't get in to work mode and I end up spending the watching entire seasons of The Vampire Diaries. Each person is different, and I AM NOT that person who has it together, that goes jogging at 5 am, and is in their work flow outfits by 7 all put together in high heels and immaculate make-up. I am the girl that sleeps in till 11, spends the day in her pajamas in front of her laptop working her ass off. I'm also the girls who spontaneously puts off all of her tasks because she needs a damn break, but will suddenly pull out her laptop at 3 am because she feels like working. I'm just going to accept who I am and stop trying to be like all these corporate bitches on TV.

5. Work on my book.
Freelance writing is so hectic... you get the worst schedules, the most impossible deadlines, and even more impossible clients. I've been working on a book for the past three years... I've got bits and pieces, but nothing properly put together. This year, no matter my work schedule, I need to dedicate time to my book. So it never gets published, maybe Zak will be the only person to ever read it (even that's doubtful), but still I will finish it at one point. This year, I will work on it more.

6. Increase my knowledge of Islam.
I've been trying to learn but I've barely scratched the surface. I'm going to include expanding my knowledge in this subject as shit that needs to get done in 2014.

That's it, people. Fuck resolutions... let's get shit done.

Happy Things

So I was reading through a bunch of posts from other amazing bloggers and I came across Allie's post of things that make her happy... and it made me so happy that I wanted to blog my own list as well! Also, if you don't already visit Allie's blog, Tales of a Twenty Something, you so should. It's amazeballs.

So I started thinking about things that made me happy, and I was appalled at the lack of things that made me truly happy. For someone who gets amused at the smallest of things, not a lot makes me feel really happy, but here are the things that do:

Car Rides

I love car rides in any weather, rain or shine. They instantly make me happier. Let's clarify that I don't like to be the one driving. I also don't like a lot of talking during the rides. lol. So the driver either has to be quiet or sing along with the loud music with me. Open roads, good music, and not a destination in mind: perfection.

Mail

With emails, texts, and Facebook, sending and receiving letters is at an all time low. I don't have the time to send letters as much as I would like to, but my friends and I used to write letters to each other all the time, and receiving a letter always put a huge smile on my face. 

Music

"Cuz a real man, knows a real woman, when he seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees herrrr..."

Alicia Keys' A Woman's Worth is my favorite sing-along song ever. Windows down, hair blowing in the wind, me singing along at the top of my fuckin lungs = good times. Music in general makes me very happy and a good sing-a-long really does lift my spirits.

Prayer

There was never really a lot of prayer in my household growing up and I embraced my religion pretty recently in all honestly. Prayer in Islam is an emotional connection with God and the entire process is very calming and peaceful. Whenever I'm really down, prayer makes me re-look at my situation and makes me feel happier.

Family Dinners

Yeah, that's the Sopranos... but seriously, family dinners make me happy. Surrounded by best friends and family, the room filled with lively conversation... We were never really big on family dinners growing up, but it's something I've always loved. I plan to make it a thing when we have kids. No matter how old, or how busy, the family gets together for dinner - and once the kids move out, family dinners once a week!

10 e-cards made with me in mind...

These are not in any particular order, but they describe me to a tee. Enjoy!

1

I really do. I also believe that silently muttering this a billion times keeps me sane and stops me from killing people. The phrase is so versatile that it can be used in a myriad of situations:

Eating something tasty: WTF is in this?! It's so good!

Eating something not so tasty: WTF is in this?! Bleugh!

Getting shocked: WTF just happened???

While exercising: WTF am I going to eat for dinner?

You get my point...

2

I get ghetto-fabulous when I get angry. I always have and I probably always will. The finger wagging, the head swagger, the uncontrollable use of the phrase "oh no you di'int!" - it's all there.

3

 

This e-card has a supporting picture that makes me laugh till I cry. I have a Harry Potter marathon once every six months (books and movies, both). I know almost all of the lines and I get super-excited be people who love Harry Potter as much as I do.

"Five points to Gryffindor!"

*If you can't read that second image, CLICK HERE, or the picture itself. So worth it.

4

This couldn't be more true. I've had a number of distraught girlfriends cry out on how bad things always happen to them and how sure they were that the drug addict who's never worked anywhere without needing to use the phrase "Would you like fries with that?" would have made a fabulous father/ husband.

I'm all for fate and karma and a higher power, but seriously, your relationship probably failed because he was a useless jerk-off and you made the decisions to move him in to your house and have him depend on you financially as well as emotionally.

5

If I held a family reunion, it would most like be me, my husband, and lots of food. My family sucks, both on my father's side as well as my mothers. I don't even like most of them and I can't be bothered to fake affection and freeze a smile on my face while hanging out with them. In my 26 years of life, it was only last May while my mother was toward the end of her terminal illness that her and her siblings all got along at once. Otherwise one brother won't be speaking, or an aunt will be angry. Useless, I tell you...

6

Sometimes Zak asks me things and when I respond he'll smile because I'd be completely off the mark. In my head, I would replay it scene by scene and swear that I was right. Then, to prove my infinite wrongness, he'll ask me what I ate for lunch that day and I wouldn't be able to tell him, even though my sanity depended on it. I can't tell it it's getting worse with age... but I figure if it's this bad at 26, I won't remember shit at 50. 

Blog? What's a blog?

7

A couple years ago my Friday nights were filled with crazed, blurred memories and all-night dancing. After a while my crazy Friday nights turned to dinners with friends and good conversation. Now, all I really want is to sit in front of the television and watch entire seasons of Lost and Big Bang Theory in one sitting.

8

I think that jealousy is just built into people. The range of jealousy differs in each person, but everyone's got a little something that makes them jealous. Most of Zak's female friends I'm completely ok with. I know I have my shit together and that my man is coming back home, but there are some women who I know are just up to no good, home-wrecking whores. Every single time I've highlighted someone to having not-so-good intentions, they really didn't, so now Zak just listens to me...

9

It's the little things that matter. Sometimes a bra/panty set that matches my outfit makes me feel like superwoman. Granny panties don't get shit done, but matching sexy sets rest the world on my palm. 

10

That's for damn sure. Life has thrown many curves my way, and I've made some not so great decisions, but in the end, they weren't that bad after all.

Check out these and other great e-cards on my Pinterest board, E-cards, Meme's, & other Words!