Pricks, Google, and Ramadan

I just spent half an hour writing a post on how I hated selfish, greedy, pricks and how I wanted to go Dexter Morgan on a few people's asses... I then deleted the entire thing because I realized that acting polite to these people and then bitching about them behind their back is skank. Being nice to people I hate doesn't make me two-faced; it just means that I was raised with manners.

So it's 1:30 am and I just spent an hour googling shit like "endometrial cancer running in the family" and "chances of breast cancer". I'm fucking scared shitless that I am going to die of cancer. I know that I am going to die, and I know that I have no say in when and where, but I really don't want to die from cancer. 

I saw what my mother fought. I saw what she put up with for two and a half years. Quite honestly, I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it as well as she did. I feel like no matter what I do, my fate is sealed. "Well you have this cancer gene in you, and when you try to take steps to protect yourself, this gene will probably attack you in another form and more viciously." Wow, well thanks. That sounds like a bag of fucking sunshine. 

Oh well. I can only (think I) control a minimum amount of shit; everything else is in God's hands. 

On another note, Ramadan is around the corner. Woot woot. Big ups to the Man upstairs for making it easy to erase a year's sins with a month of dedication. I'm kind of super excited this year - I can actually read a bit of Arabic and I know how to pray now! What what! Plus, my Eid shalwar is super sexy! Lol. 

Zak's snoring away. I'm jealous that I don't have his sleeping habits. He can wake up at 10 am and be ready for a nap at 2 pm. Stupid Maste Kalander. 

Buying a shalwar was kind of difficult today. It made me think of mom and her ridiculous love of shalwars. 

Oif.