Koi

Living through COVID-19

Late last year the world was taken over by the coronavirus. Having started in Wuhan, China, the virus quickly spread to every corner of the world. It is much more serious than the seasonal flu that many of us are used to, not to downplay how many people die from the seasonal flu every year. But to put it into perspective, the mortality rate for the flu is 0.1% while the mortality rate for the coronavirus is 1%. This means that for every one person who dies from the flu, ten people die from the coronavirus. The particular strain that's been affecting people has been named COVID-19. So far there have been cases in almost every country, with the US being affected the worse.

Statistics as of today, April 26th, 2020:

Global -
2,933,384 confirmed cases. 839,271 recovered. 203,612 deaths.

In the US -
959,000 confirmed cases. 108,000 recovered. 54,161 deaths. There are 17,766 confirmed cases in Maryland alone and 797 deaths.

Dad taking safety measures

Safety measures have been taken all over the world to slow down the spread of the virus so that our hospitals aren't overwhelmed and are able to treat everybody. For example, everyone in Sri Lanka is under a curfew. They're only allowed out during certain hours to stock up on groceries. While many people are working from home, many more have been completely let go from their jobs. It's no better here in the US. Dad and Zak have stopped working since March 15th. It's been over a month now. Ma Sha Allah, we are blessed to have a home that is paid off, can buy groceries (even though our credit card debt is piling), and can stay home and be safe during this crazy time. There are so many people who just can't afford to stay at home because they have rent/ mortgages and so many other other bills that have to be paid off.

Though we're feeling blessed for the time we had, resources are depleting and we have to think of what we're going to do next. It's a scary time for so many people and we're trying to handle it the best way we can.

On an emotional and mental level, I've been surprisingly okay so far. It started bringing me down a couple of days ago Tom is also visiting so it could just be him. I just feel so frustrated with the system. I'm frustrated with myself for not building much of a savings. I'm just so angry at the way things are playing out, but I'm also trying to just be thankful for all the things we do have because, at the moment, the good is still outweighing the bad.

On a much happier note, Ramadan started a few days ago. It's not the same since we're all at home and there are no tharaweeh prayers and such, but it's still nice to have the comforts of the blessed month upon us.

My back is healing up nicely. It's definitely not as quick as I thought it would be. I still have some very light discomforts but definitely ones I can live with and don't even notice most of the time. My hands are feeling much better too, though my right hand still doesn't feel 100% normal.

I was on such a kick to lose weight and get healthy and I've already forgotten how horrible I felt about my body failing me just a few months back. I'm disappointed in myself and I really am trying to get it together. It's so hard for me though. I really don't understands whether it's a mental connection I have with food or whether I'm just a fat ass.

That's all I have for a monthly update which is something I'm trying to do.

Herniated Disc and Spiraling Mental Health

Two months. That’s how long I’ve been incapacitated by this herniated disc and I just can’t believe that two months of my life has gone with me being bedridden and in hospitals for the most part. 

The sciatica became significantly worse within a week or so and led to drop foot, muscle weakness, and me basically turning into the Hunchback of Notre Dame with all my limping. I went from being perfectly normal one week to not being able to lift my toes or move my foot side to side. Little things like standing on my tiptoes were considered a success. I spent an entire day crying because I couldn’t put on my flip flops - I didn’t have enough control of my toes to scoot them in properly. 

Thank god for my primary care physician, Dr. Epstein, who immediately referred me to Dr. Dorai - the Chief of Neurosurgery! We weren’t keen on having surgery initially, but decided to go ahead because there were so many issues along the way. I ended up in the ER like five times - most of the time for pain, once for a horrible reaction to Tramadol, and once because I was sure I’d developed Cuada Equina which requires emergency surgery. After the doc finished up my surgery she told Zak that the herniated disc was a lot worse than the MRI showed and that thank God we did the surgery. No amount of physical therapy would have helped. 

Now three weeks post surgery, recovery is good. The drop foot was gone as soon as I got off the hospital bed. The pain lessened each day, as did the muscle weakness and cramping. I’m still not 100% but I am feeling almost 90% like myself. I can’t sit for long periods of time and I get tired fairly quickly, but other than that almost everything is back to normal. 

I think I was affected more by the mental symptoms of the herniated disc rather than the physical ones. It threw me into a spiral of depression and anxiety that, for a time, I thought I’d never get out of. I was sad and crying and couldn’t get out of bed. Zak, Phebe, and mostly Allah (swt) got me through it and I’m at a much better place now. 

I thank God everyday for my amazing husband who saw my mental health breaking down and stopped everything to spend time with me and keep me calm. This is us at the fish market in Washington DC on a day adventure to keep me distracted. Little would we know that we would have one of the most terrifying experiences of our lives in just a few hours. 

These past two months have changed me for the better. I’ve increased my salah and I remember my Maker more. My outlook on life has changed too. And because of that, I wouldn’t change a single thing I went through.

Alhamdulillah for all that I experienced because it brought me closer to Allah (swt). 

~

{Maktub - a concept which means that Allah (swt) has written our fate and that whatever we experience is because it is meant to be.}